I need more Jesus. I’ve been so prideful and arrogant lately. So unfocused and unmotivated. I need more Jesus.
THE (SCIENTIFIC) DEATH OF JESUS
For the next 60 seconds, set aside whatever
You’re doing and take this opportunity! Let’s see if Satan
Can stop this.
… … … … THE
(SCIENTIFIC) DEATH OF JESUS
At the age of 33,
Jesus was condemned to death .
At the time
Crucifixion was the “worst” death. Only the worst
Criminals were condemned to be crucified. Yet it was
Even more dreadful for Jesus, unlike
Other criminals condemned to death by
Crucifixion Jesus was to be nailed to the
Cross by His hands and feet.
Was 6 to 8 inches long.
Were driven into His wrist. Not
Into His palms as is commonly
Portrayed. There’s a tendon in the wrist that
Extends to the shoulder. The Roman guards knew
That when the nails were being hammered into the
Wrist that tendon would tear and
Break, forcing Jesus to use His back
Muscles to support himself so that He could
Both of His feet
Were nailed together. Thus He was forced to
Support Himself on the single nail that
Impaled His feet to the cross. Jesus could
Not support himself with His legs because of the pain
So He was forced to alternate between arching His
Back then using his legs just to continue to
Breath. Imagine the struggle, the pain, the
Suffering, the courage.
Jesus endured this
Reality for over 3 hours.
Over 3 hours! Can you imagine this kind of
Suffering? A few minutes before He died,
Jesus stopped bleeding. He was simply pouring water
From his wounds.
From common images
We see wounds to His hands and feet and even the spear wound
To His side… But do we realize His wounds
Were actually made in his body. A hammer
Driving large nails through the wrist, the feet overlapped
And an even large nail hammered through the arches, then a
Roman guard piercing His side with a spear. But
Before the nails and the spear Jesus was whipped and
Beaten. The whipping was so severe that it tore the
Flesh from His body. The beating so horrific that His
Face was torn and his beard ripped from His face. The
Crown of thorns cut deeply into His scalp. Most men
Would not have survived this torture.
He had no more blood
To bleed out, only water poured from His
The human adult body contains about 3.5 liters
(just less than a gallon) of blood.
Jesus poured all 3.5
Liters of his blood; He had three nails hammered into His
Members; a crown of thorns on His head and, beyond
That, a Roman soldier who stabbed a spear into His
All these without
Mentioning the humiliation He suffered after carrying His own
Cross for almost 2 kilometers, while the crowd spat in his
Face and threw stones (the cross was almost 30 kg of weight,
Only for its higher part, where His hands were
To endure this experience, to open the
Gates of Heaven,
So that you can have free
Access to God.
So that your sins
Could be “washed” away. All of them, with no exception!
Don’t ignore this situation.
CHRIST DIED FOR YOU!
He died for you! It
Is easy to pass jokes or foolish photos by e-mail, but
When it comes to God, sometimes you feel ashamed to forward
To others because you are worried of what they may think
Has plans for you, show all your friends what He experienced
To save you. Now think about this! May God bless your
Seconds with God…
For the next 60
Seconds, set aside what you’re doing and take
This opportunity! Let’s see if Satan can stop
All you have to do
Pray for the person who sent this message to
2.Then, send this
Message to people.. The more the better.
3. People will
Pray for you and you will make that many people pray to God
For other people.
4. Take a
Moment to appreciate the power of God in your life, for
Doing what pleases Him.
If you are not
Ashamed to do this, please, follow Jesus’ instructions.
He said (Matthew 10:32 & 33): “Everyone therefore
Who acknowledges me before others, I also will acknowledge
before My Father in heaven; but whosoever denies Me
before others, I will deny before my Father in heaven.
WHY IT’S FUNNY-Jimmy Fallon Head Swap
I am a big fan of Jimmy Fallon and his show, “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.” There is a segment on the show called “Head Swap,” that is brilliantly hilarious. It involves taking the head (picture) of a celebrity and putting it on the body (picture) of another celebrity. Sounds funny already in a ridiculous sort of way, but just wait until Jimmy explains just what it is and how it’s done!
- I love that he explains it all in song and also in a stop motion type of filming sequence…I don’t think it would nearly as funny any other way! Who thinks of these things???
- I also love the added in beats that go along with the song (like the secret knock in the first one) are hilarious!
- The concept of something simple getting completely out of hand is funny anyway, and is precisely the comedy behind this segment, but the thought of all of this intense stuff happening from simply trying to do a Head Swap? HAHA, it’s just like so random and simple.
- I think my favorite one is the last one (that I know of) with the priest! His voice is the best! hahaha
If you haven’t seen it, check it out! And tell me why YOU think it’s funny! :)
WHY IT’S FUNNY-30 Rock Lifetime Movie Titles
30 Rock is a hilarious show! And because of that, this show will probably be mentioned a lot on this blog actually, and because I love it so much! One of the things they sometimes mention in the show, that never fails to make me laugh, (other than everything else that makes me laugh in this show) are Lifetime movies. They are clearly just making fun of actual Lifetime movies, and yes, I’m sure it has been done many a time before…but the ones they come up with in 30 Rock are so ridiculous and they make me laugh out loud every time. Why?
- One that Liz Lemon mentions is: “My Stepson is My Cyber Husband”—HAHA! This title parody, when you hear it, starts out so normal (My Stepson is…) but then you hear “my cyber husband,” and it just becomes so ridiculous and hilarious. Then you begin to think that you would actually be interested in watching such a movie, which is just what Lifetime does to you.
- Another title I have heard on the show, mentioned by Jenna, is a mini-series I believe, called “Hushed Rapings.” Like, it’s so much funnier that it is not simply a Lifetime movie, but a Lifetime mini-series. I guess since it’s about multiple “rapings” explains why it’s a mini-series, but just the thought of that, and the fact that Jenna starred in it, is hilarious.
- I KNOW there was one other Lifetime movie/series mentioned, that Jenna starred in, but I cannot remember it! :( I know it was mentioned in an early season of the show. If anyone can think of it, let me know! :)
I just discovered this website, and it is hilarious! The author just seems so passionate and angry about the quality of these pictures. HAHA.
My favorite: The jet pack in space :) “…which is an affront to everything we know about astrophysics…” haha I can just imagine whoever this guy is saying these things in a hilarious tone to these kids.
Apparently the book is coming out soon! Until then, check out the website!
The Movie, “Spring Breakdown”
This Why It’s Funny is all about the movie “Spring Breakdown.” Oftentimes the funniest inside jokes, quotes, and scenes come from little-known movies such as this one. The movie may be little-known but its stars are quite well-known. (Amy Poehler, Parker Posey, Rachel Dratch, Mae Whitman, and Amber Tamblyn) Here’s my list of why it’s funny:
- The opening scene! This movie didn’t waste any time getting funny. The part in this scene in particular is the way Amy Poehler plays those bongos! I feel like I’m the only one who finds this so funny…but I hope that’s not true. It’s when they show her playing them from behind…just the way she’s moving when she plays them. She’s just so serious about it!
- It doesn’t matter what Rachel Dratch does or if she even does anything, she will make me laugh. Simple as that. Hahaha and the same pretty much goes for Amy Poehler.
- Mae Whitman’s character just looks so awkward and nerdy that it’s hilarious! That sentence doesn’t do it much justice, as there are plenty of awkward, nerdy characters out there, but somehow she just makes it so much more hilarious just in the appearance alone!
Those are only a few reasons why this movie is funny that I felt should be pointed out further. This movie just ROCKS! Check it out!
Bongo Scene hahaha http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F9FCoURcpI
Occasionally, I will post things (tv shows, movies, bands, etc.) that I believe are either overrated or underrated.
The first entry I chose, which is underrated is (and yes, I’m serious) The Naked Brothers Band. Yes, this band consists of two brothers ages 11 and 8 at the beginning of the show, along with several other talented children. And yes, they had a show on Nickelodeon. However, it is quite hard to believe that the two brothers Nat and Alex Wolff (again only 11 and 8 at the start!) are responsible for the music they make. Their songs are difficult to describe other than to say they have a unique sound, they are surprisingly deep, and they most certainly go beyond what one would think just hearing of a band of children. One song I would like to point out is their theme song, “If That’s Not Love.” This song is not only catchy, but it seems to be so complex but somewhat simple all at the same time. I’m sure I could continue on and on about this band, but I find it a bit difficult to describe why I like them so much. I will just say to go take a listen! I will also recommend “If That’s Not Love,” “Face in the Hall,” “The World,” and their adorable, but genuinely good first single, “Crazy Car.” :)
"Can we all just learn how to spell “definitely” ?"